Nobody Becomes Somebody: A Ropes Course Story

This is a story about A Boy Named Nobody. I was leading a ropes course program for a youth-at-risk high school group. One of the first things I asked the kids to do was put on a nametag. Partway through the morning, I noticed a kid dressed in all black, looking disinterested and detached from the rest of the group.

I walked over to greet him and noticed that instead of a name, his nametag said “Nobody.” It was a perfect name to describe what he must have felt like in his life. I asked him a few questions about it but mostly encouraged him to take a few steps beyond himself during the day.

I kept my eye on him throughout the morning. He remained around the perimeter—not fully in the group, but not entirely out either. As we progressed through building conversations, increasing heights, and trust exercises, Nobody consistently chose to stay out. We applauded his choice not to climb or fall and moved on to the next activity.

The High V’s

In the afternoon, we arrived at the High V’s—an event built 30 feet up in the trees, strung between massive California redwoods. A cable wraps around one tree and runs horizontally to two others, forming a giant V-shape parallel to the ground.

Two participants climb side-by-side up the tree at the apex of the V. They step out onto their respective cables, which diverge toward separate trees. Facing each other, about two feet apart, they place their hands on each other’s shoulders and let go of the tree they just climbed. A tree that once seemed intimidating now looks sturdy compared to the narrow cables beneath them.

Leaning against each other, the two participants take the next steps along the diverging cables. Each step increases the distance between their feet, requiring one of two responses:

Lean In: Stand tall, bring the center of gravity toward the partner, and create synergy. This inward lean provides stability, allowing both to move forward together.
Bend Over: Protect your own balance, bending at the waist, which separates the participants further, restricting eye contact and communication, and creating entropy. The only way to maintain contact in this position is to pull against the other, often ending in a fall.

The High V’s is a physical metaphor for relationships: energy and progress are fueled by connection, not separation.

A Boy Named Nobody and His Moment

As kids climbed the V’s, Nobody slowly made his way to the belay lines to join the seven others holding climbers above them. It was a small but significant step toward connection.

All the other kids had partnered up, and Nobody had declined every invitation to climb. I watched, wondering how he would engage with this final challenge.

A few years earlier, I had been delivering a similar program to another youth-at-risk group and felt utterly burnt out. I saw what I called “trout faces” everywhere—lips moving, eyes empty, disengaged. I assumed no progress would be made.

A probation officer reminded me of the law of 82: “These kids need to hear the lesson 82 times before they decide to make a change. Today may be the first, or perhaps the 82nd. Don’t give up, because you don’t know which day will make the difference.”

For Nobody, number 82 had arrived. A boy who had just completed the High V’s approached him and asked again to climb together. Nobody gave a tentative “okay,” a cautious but genuine acceptance. His curiosity outweighed his fear. With help from peers, he got into the harness and began.

Stepping Into Vulnerability

On the High V’s, these two boys demonstrated what the day was really about. It wasn’t about eliminating fear—fear is part of life. It was about creating energy and momentum for what matters more than fear.

Step by step, leaning on each other, the boys moved outward along the cables. Kids on the ground cheered wildly. Each lean, each act of trust, reinforced connection. Their energy carried them further than they imagined. Eventually, the cables became nearly horizontal, and they slipped—but the experience had already transformed them. Belayers lowered them safely to the ground, and the group celebrated with high-fives, handshakes, and fist bumps.

The Circle of Growth

Tom Lutes, one of my mentors, taught me a circular model: vulnerability, inspiration, support, and trust. Each feeds into the next:

Vulnerability → leads to inspiration
Inspiration → generates support
Support → builds trust
Trust → opens the way for more vulnerability

Some kids need more trust before they’re willing to be vulnerable again. Nobody experienced this firsthand. The boy who became his partner was number 82, embodying support that allowed Nobody to risk, to lean in, and to engage fully. As we cheered from the ground, trust grew, vulnerability expanded, and Nobody experienced success in a profound way.